PESHAWAR: Safina Bibi’s aunt bought her a packet of kanwari on her wedding night. In its name and claim, the product kanwari – a concoction of herbs – fetishizes female virginity in a patriarchal society that places a high premium on it.
In a country where women can get honour-killed for extra-marital sex, a bride-to-be can have her life, her virginity and respect in the eyes of her husband and in laws for as little as Rs 4,500 ($43) – the price of Kanwari.
Her aunt knew Safina* was a virgin no more but the family was keen to have the girl remarry. A domestic worker, her first marriage to a son of wealthy parents had fallen apart. The boy, who had fallen in love with Safina and married her, quickly divorced her at the first sign of resistance from his parents who didn’t want a girl from a humble background for a daughter-in-law.
“He was handsome, well dressed and attractive,” says Safina Bibi, 35. “It was a nightmare. I hadn’t thought for a minute that my love, my husband, would leave me alone just like that.”
Her aunt, who did not wish to be named, told News Lens Pakistan that Safina’s immediate family did not know about her dilemma because she had not told anyone about her secret first marriage.
“You know better when one loses virginity, she is never owned by anyone – parents or brothers,” said Safina’s aunt. “Girls get killed in the name of honour and it was because of this fear and concern for her future that I decided to try and find a virginity’ recovery treatment.”
In April this year, a bride was allegedly killed by her husband on the wedding night for not being virgin, in the Jacobabad district of Sindh province. Killing women in the name of honour is common in the patriarchal Pakistan, especially in the largely feudal and tribal districts where such killings are either hushed up or go unreported. In recent years there has been an alarming spike in honour killings. Statistics compiled by the Human Rights Commission of Pakistan (HRCP) for the period spanning Feb 1, 2004, to Feb 1, 2006 shows 988 incidents of honour killings in Pakistan. HRCP’s recent database for the period between February 2014 to February 2016 shows the number of honour killings at 1,276, with nearly 400 without any FIRs registered.
“Most honour killings go unreported in Pakistan because communities and villages councils never allow such murders to make their way into media,” said Haroon Shinwari, a practicing lawyer at Peshawar. He told News Lens Pakistan, “No doubt the practice of checking and confirming virginity is a tradition across Pakistan, but owing to strict the tribal structure in rural communities, such cases do not make it to courts and media. Nor could they be legally and forensically investigated.”
Safina used the medicine her aunt got her on the eve of her second marriage. “I took the contents of the package with some water and my husband could not tell that I was not virgin,” she said.
Ali, an online seller of “hymen recovery herbs, powder and medicines”, said his products were “guaranteed” to deliver. “I receive orders from across the country. From hymen repair to breast tightening and reshaping, medicines are available online and delivered to every corner of Pakistan.”
It’s not only Ali’s shop in Faisalabad that delivers hymen repair products to the rest of Pakistan, such online portals proliferate on the internet, locally as well as internationally. One such shop is “HymenShop” sending medication detailed instructions on precautions and use.
Naheed Bibi, a women selling hymen repair medication in Peshawar, said her medicine helped “needy girls and women who had lost hymens.” Smiling, she said: “No one wants to marry a girl who is not virgin. Virginity is tested on the eve of the wedding. Girls that are not virgins are either divorced or even killed, so I am here saving their lives.”
Fateh Lal, 63, a mother-in-law of three young ladies told News Lens Pakistan that she had confirmed virginity of her daughters-in-law through traditional checking of “hymen” after the couple spent the first night together. “It is common. We provide a white handkerchief, placed at the wedding bed. In the morning, the blood spots from hymen rupture are observed by an elderly lady of the family and the mother-in-law. If virginity confirmed, the women congratulate the mother-in-law.”
Other than sexual intercourse, a hymen can be torn by careless use of tampons, insertion of fingers or other penetration into vagina, strenuous physical exercise involving stretching, riding bicycle, hard sports like high and long jumping and gymnastics. According to Dr Naeema Usman, head of Gynecology C Unit at Hayatabad Medical Complex, some girls are born with so little hymnal tissue that it seems like it was never there in the first place.
Usage of herbal and other medication for restoration of hymen, said Dr Usman, could lead to infection of pelvic organs and weight gain. “Usually unmarried girls who want to fake virginity do ask for help. As a gynecologist, I recommend hymenoplasty, a medical procedure as it is available in the country and performed by doctors and plastic surgeons.”
*Safina Bibi: the name is changed to protect the identity of the woman in view of the social and cultural taboos and sensitivity of the subject.
This article originally appeared in News Lens and has been reproduced with permission
